Top 10 wild ways to go green

The restaurant I enjoyed today with family for lunch needs help. If using up too much unecessary space on paper is not green, then we know what Tahoe Joe's is doing on their menu is not green. Of course, I'm having fun and awakening my green intuition as to what is on the fringes of being a good green company or citizen.

So, nonetheless, I look up to the top right corner of the menu and it says, "Lunch served Monday thru Sunday"...hmmmm....isn't that EVERYDAY! I'm just sayin here...green is about efficiency and authentic conservation of everything including words.

Yes, I sound extreme or wild, and I'm in one of those silly moods again staring at this computer for too many hours and now I don't FEEL green. Does a case of retinal trauma from gazing at this monitor of mine for too long mean I get sympathy from you for not feeling green at the moment? No. oh, we'll I tried in my wild sort of way. Then it got me thinking what other wild ways could we go green.

Wild ways to go green? I'll start and you jump in for smiles and giggles.

1. Child eco-powered vehicles– are you forever running your kids from place to place and want to try and cut down on your carbon footprint? Why not put a cycle rack on top of your car and then attach a chain to the axle! The kids get exercise, you get to make sure they arrive safely from the comfort of the car and the whole thing is better for the environment – it’s a win-win situation.

2. Annual bathing – if it was good enough in medieval times why can’t it be good enough now? The savings in water will be huge, not to mention the money saving benefits that will come from the drastic decline in your social life. Americans like to bathe a lot. We're bath crazy. Although you may not believe me, you don’t need to bathe everyday. A couple times a week is good enough to keep you healthy. (If you are very physically active or work in the sewers/morgue/infectious disease ward, you are probably an exception.)

3. Forget fair-trade, source it yourself – if you want to ensure that products you buy are really ethical then what better way then compiling your own list of producers and sourcing everything direct from the point of origin? From fruit and veg to shoes and socks, you’ll be paying retail prices so the producers get an even better deal. Of course some producers may object to the paperwork and insist you buy in wholesale quantities, but hey, you can never have too many bananas!

5. Become a hermit – if even ethically sourcing everything yourself seems to resource intensive then why not shun worldly possessions altogether, live in a cave and eat what you can forage? You can’t get much closer to nature than that! You may cause a few pollution incidents in the early days as you learn which berries and fungi are good to eat, but at least you’ll have plenty of peace and quiet to recover.

6. Coat your house in tin foil – When all else fails there are always geo-engineering options. By coating your house and garden in tin foil you can reflect more of the Sun’s energy back in to space, thus reducing the global temperature and helping to reverse climate change.

OK LETS GET MORE PRACTICAL FOR THOSE WHO THINK I'M ON DRUGS

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